I Have Border Sauce On My Nose

Well...I did. I'm not gonna leave it there.
Lunch today at my desk, compliments of Taco Bell. That is, compliments after I paid my $4.83. Who knew soft tacos would be so expensive? Didn't it used to be that one could purchase a chicken soft taco for mere cents as opposed to the, what, $1.70-something you have to pay for them now? Another one of life's simple pleasures goes "ttthhhhhbbbbt" (as quoted from Calvin and Hobbes...the noise, not the actual statement). If you haven't read any Calvin and Hobbes lately, no wonder food just doesn't taste right and your pets don't like you anymore.
Ah, another day at work. Still having fun, don't you worry. I like it here so much, in fact, i'm seriously considering moving in. Well...not really but you get the idea. It's been a pretty quiet Tuesday so far as Tuesdays go. You'd think there'd be a lot of crazy 4th of July stories flying around, but not so here. Most of the stories I've heard from my office have mostly consisted of the words "a few cold ones" and "I watched the fireworks down at (insert any location here)". No interesting injuries or anything.
As for my 4th of July, I spent it mostly furniture shopping with mom and dad. Yes. No you weren't invited. What kind of furniture, you ask (so nice of you to ask!)? Wicker. All kinds of wicker. Did you know that they make plastic wicker? I had no idea. you'd be astounded at the different varieties of wicker out there. And don't even get me started on cushions! The versatility and options are endless! Well...actually, if you didn't want tropical flowers or stripes, i think you were pretty much out of luck. You could choose from different colors though, so don't get your FTLs in a wad. Colors out the yin yang. Mom and Dad finally settled (after much careful consideration and sighing and sitting on protectively plastic-covered cushions that made amusing sounds) on a lovely tropical flower/fern pattern with a deep red background. Excellent choice. I gave it the thumbs-up and so, my part of the bargain being done, we moved on to the next part of the bargain: pancakes at Crackerbarrel. And all was once again right with the world. At Crackerbarrel, it's easy to forget the smell of artificial flowers and the feel of plastic-covered cushions beneath your bum. You no longer have to think about how many ceramic i-don't-care-why-do-people-make-these-things?? knick-knacks that there are in existence out there, no doubt made by people on depression medication who question the meaning of life. Nobody wants a ceramic snail. I don't care who you are.
so anyway. My family's den, Nathan wil be glad to hear, will be soon fitted up nicely with new wicker furniture when he comes home in a week or two for a visit. Yes, it's a little stiff. Yes, it makes that scratchy/squeaky noise that you didn't know was possible until wicker (how can a squeak be a scratch and vice versa?), but it's lovely to behold and has sproingy cushions. We're happy.
After that was a visit to my Grandma's for some Sloan Family Eatin', followed by a trip to Coats for an annual July 4th get-together/Bug-nanza. there were bugs. Everywhere. I mean, EVERYWHERE. There's nothing like playing guitar and singing with a bunch of folks as the target of a spotlight in an outdoor setting where bugs make a bee-line (pun intended) for any source of light within a two-mile radius. You try smiling and strumming your way through a song with a bug on your neck and no way to get it off. GET IT OFF!!!! I had to settle for swatting frantically between songs, an act that only seemed to amuse the bugs and invite them to bring their friends to see the spectacle. They ranged in size from those "no-see-ums" all the way up to the gigantic humming-bird-sized "go for the eyes" bugs that apparently have no name at all. It's hard to feel patriotic when the fireworks are all going off behind you as you sing and there's a bug down your shirt.
Jeffrey and I discovered this interesting product called the Mosquito Deleto at Lowes on Sunday and we've yet to try it out but i was seriously wishing for one last night (Off does nothing in the face of an insect army, it would seem). It supposedly releases a patented smell over a 100ft radius that makes you "invisible" to mosquitoes by blocking their ability to find you through the carbon dioxide released in your breath and even body heat. (Incredulous chuckle) We'll see. Product test results to follow.
All bug issues aside, however, it was a lovely gathering with tons of great people (including Mr.David Pace), the best sweet tea on the Eastern Seaboard, and my own little fan club of kids below the age of twelve who insisted on chanting my name whenever I went onstage. I love kids. Well, I didn't when I was one but i do now. My parents even came out to watch the fireworks and share the patriotic spirit. Does Lee Greenwood give anyone else goosebumps or is it just me? Or maybe just the bugs.

Have a good day, people.

I've got so much love for you, I'm giving it away for free...and you're the only kid standing beside the road at my love parade.