Thoughts For The Day with Melissa Sloan

You missed me. Admit it.
Once again, I write to you from my office here in lovely, Cary, NC. I'm on my lunch break so no, i'm not supposed to be working. Get off my back.

There is an interesting social phenomenon that has come to my attention since working in an office with sixty-some odd people and as I am of the opinion that it is indeed interesting, I will share it with you. If you disagree, well you're wrong. This phenomena involves bathroom etiquette so I know that there are those of you to whom this fact will guarantee an interesting blog post. That being said, I introduce to you:

The Workplace Restroom Mexican Standoff
(no it's not nearly as disgusting as it may sound on initial reading.)

As I am female, I am therefore only familiar with this occurance in the Ladies' Room (well...except for this one time when I just had to go and the ladies' facilities were full, as is often the case.) so I can't speak for guys. Guys, being the socially inept creatures that they often are, might not find this to be an issue at all. In my experience, however, what commonly occurs is this: One woman enters the bathroom and proceeds into a stall, where she closes the door and hangs up any articles she might have brought in with her. Almost immediately thereafter, another woman enters the bathroom and proceeds to enter another stall, usually leaving an empty stall in the middle as a kind of "personal space cushion". (Arguably, the more personal space you have in a restroom, the better.)
It is at this point that the Workplace Restroom Mexican Standoff occurs. Both ladies have to go and both know that they work in the office with the other one, in some capacity or other. Therefore, any anxiety either of the ladies normally feels upon using the bathroom in a public facility is increased tenfold (Hence the name "Workplace Restroom Mexican Standoff" and not just "Restroom Mexican Standoff"). After all, most anybody can use a restroom easily with the knowledge that you'll never see the other person present again.
Let it be known that I minored in Psychology at East Carolina University and can therefore attest to an actual psychological condition that prevents some people from being able to use the bathroom while anyone else is present in the room and can hear them. Call it a kind of performance anxiety, if you will. No, I can't remember the name of the condition but it exists. Trust me and let it go.
It is as a result of this condition and the previously mentioned circumstances that you have the WBMS. Both of the ladies involved are forced to sit in silence until one of them relents, gathers her things, and leaves with the intention of returning when no one is in the bathroom. The remaining woman is the winner, therefore, and can proceed with her business, leaving the bathroom feeling triumphant and more comfortable than when she entered it.
The Workplace Restroom Mexican Standoff is an awkward situation to find yourself in if you are not a strong and outgoing individual, socially. If you are not one of these outgoing people, simply keep these things in mind:

1. They can't see you. They may or may not know who you are.
2. If you entered the bathroom first, you have the right-of-way, so to speak. Don't let them back you down.
3. If you are the second to arrive in the bathroom, I advise innocently washing your hands, blowing your nose, and otherwise justifying your presence in the restroom without actually using the facilities and then exiting quickly. Return when the restroom is empty.
and 4. If still unsure how to act, wear indistinguishable shoes.

You'll notice, if in this situation, that a lot of times, the other person involved will try to outlast you by sounding "busy". In otherwords, they'll blow their nose, cough, pull off some tissue paper. Don't let this fool you. They're just trying to break you and make you leave first. Stand firm and you will be the Workplace Restroom Mexican Standoff victor.

Go forth, being newly enlightened, and make me proud.