*Clang, clang clang!* Meeeeeeerry Christmas!!!

The mall, approximately 52 hours before Christmas Eve: NOT a fun place to be. But you knew that, right?
Everybody's out, slavering at the mouth to get those presents they've put off shopping for because they were too busy sitting at home watching local news broadcasts about people out shopping for Christmas early, pointing at them on the screen, and making fun of them. I refuse to use the phrase "last-minute shopping" in any of its variations because if I hear it again at any point in the next 48 hours, I may very well approach the person who said it and, quickly and nonconfrontationally, shove a candy cane where the sun don't shine. That sounds violent, I realize. I just hate seasonal cliches.
I was very surprised yesterday at Cary's illustrious Cary Towne Center mall ("Town" spelled with an "e" to up the hoity-toity factor, one can only presume), by a number of things. First of all, where did all the Indian people come from?? I cringe at even asking because such questions are the proverbial match at the end of the fuse on a big ol' keg of racist gunpowder, but I don't mean to sound racist in the least. I'm honestly curious about what it is about the Cary area that draws more and more people of this nationality every year. If not for their colorful dress, they would've blended right in as they rushed around with a look of grim determination on their faces just like the rest of us, but as their children were some of the most adorable I've ever seen in my life, I couldn't help but notice their growing number.

Second Surprising Thing I Noticed at the Mall: the infinite number of times a teenage girl squeals, screams, or otherwise uses in general conversation the phrase "Oh my god!" I was in Bath & Body Works with Mom, studying a display of a new scent called "Sleep" (a combination of cinnamon and cloves), when the display in question was also approached from the other side by a gaggle of three or four girls, approximately 13 in age. They were at that charming stage of physical development when their noses, arms, and legs are disproportionately long compared to the rest of their bodies, yet they somehow remain cute, in an awkward coltish way. They were clad in the standard uniform of girls of their age: a combination of denim skirts, hoodies, jeans, and colorful socks from one or the other of the three A's: Abercrombie and Fitch, American Eagle Outfitters, and Aeropostale. They approached rapidly and in one clump of arms and legs, moving much like the collective Peanuts gang as they decorated Charlie Brown's tree in A Charlie Brown Christmas: features indiscernable initially, just a moving mass of giggles and noise and the refrain of "oh my god!". I was a little taken aback as I didn't expect the display of Sleep products to merit such a vocal response (it is intended to be relaxing, after all), but Girl Number 1 seized a bottle, exclaimed "Oh my god, SLEEP!", and proceeded to read the label out loud to her companions, who were all breathing heavily and grinning to beat the band. All I could see from my position on the opposite side of the display were scarves, noses, and hair. I quickly moved on.

Surprising Mall Thing Number 3: People are angry. In the case of Christmas shopping, I can only guess who it is they're mad at. They're mad at themselves for waiting until three days before Christmas to do their shopping. They're mad at the knowledge that now all the people who have their shopping done are sitting at home, watching them on their local news broadcast, pointing at them on the screen, and making fun of them. They're mad at the actual people who necessitated the buying of gifts in the first place: the loved ones for whom they're slogging through the mall, swiping and purchasing at an alarming and angry rate. These people don't want to stop, they don't want to browse, and they don't want you doing either of the above in their vicinity. They will jostle your shoulder hard as they pass you, they'll sigh loudly at the store counter as they wait in line behind you, and they WILL move as if to hit you with their car, should you dare have the audacity to cross a parking lot in front of them with more parcels than they've managed to buy at that point. Move quickly, keep your head down, and don't make eye contact. These are the only ways to have a semi-acceptable existence to these people.

Surprising Mall Thing #4 (and then I'm done, I promise):
Nobody who actually WORKS at the mall knows anything about anything having to pertain to the mall. If you want to know where anything is, how much it is, if there are any left in stock, what other stores might carry what you're looking for, and/or what the mall hours are, you'll have to ask your fellow shoppers. Employees will give you nothing but a blank stare and your receipt.

I hope you all are surviving the pre-holiday season and that you're now one of those at home, watching last-minute shoppers (yes, I know, I said it...keep your candy cane!) on the evening news and shaking your heads in mock sympathy. 'Tis the season for baking and I have a lot to do so that'll most likely be the next Christmas adventure of mine you're privy to. Happy shopping/wrapping/frustrating everyone! And be safe out there!