"Girl Issues" Bite. Hard.

Oh, for the love of MOTRIN!!

Good Wednesday, everyone. It's a beautiful day in Cary, NC and as usual, I find myself in that space between 8am and lunch time and wondering what wisdom I can bestow upon the world today. In order to keep you from suspense much longer, here I go. Actually you know what, I'm fresh out today. Ain't no wisdom at the bottom of my mental barrel on a day like today...a day when (don't read this guys) girls everywhere can furrow their brows in sympathy over "lady's days". That's right. Those dreaded of all days of every month. Okay, guys, you can open your eyes again. You boys out there in Man Land don't know how good you have it. You have permission to cruise through life with your Peter Pan complexes and the odd bout of refusal for directions but in the end, you can sit back and relax in the knowledge that us womenfolk will be there to take care of you. Seriously. Your job is to open jars, reach things on high shelves, lawn maintenance, and anything pertaining to the car. We women, on the other hand, carry on a nothing-short-of-spectacular juggling act of managing our "womanly responsibilities", whatever those may be, while also multi-tasking, planning, writing cute emails to girlfriends, making grocery lists, coordinating our "business casual" wardrobes for work, cleanining up after various mess-makers, handling nail maintenance, and popping Motrin in exasperation with our (look away) reproductive systems. See what I'm saying, guys? No, not so much? Okay, fine. I know you have your own issues and responsibilities as well. I mean, who's going to keep up with all those sports stats and keep the floor littered in dirty socks?? Okay, fine. I realize I'm starting to sound a bit....shall we say....(ahem) whiney? Maybe? It's the uterus talking. Oh! Sorry guys! You weren't supposed to read that! Guys are good for lots of things. You keep us girls entertained and "protected", you are the ice-scrapers of windshields around the world, and you even occasionally grit your teeth and find yourself wandering that ever-mystifying "girl stuff" aisle in Walmart. Bless your hearts. You take care of us when we're sick (in your own way, I suppose), take care of "insect problems", and check out suspicious noises. We girls always smile to each other at the thought of what you must go through to find presents for your mom (or us), efforts to keep those bachelor pads clean, and the way you coddle your household pets, whatever those may be. Awww...see? It's cute. And for those, and various other reasons, I think I speak for all women when I say, "What would we do without guys in our lives?" (besides be a lot less concerned with mascara and a lot less stressed in traffic). The workplace would be a lot more tense in general and Sports Illustrated would go out of print. It'd be a sad, sad world my friends.
So women of the world, eat some chili and watch some...uh...game involving a ball today in appreciation of Man-dom. And then, with a sigh of relief, head back to life as you know it...with a new-found respect for your uterus. Oh! Sorry guys! Geez! Walk it off...walk it off!!

Have a lovely day, everyone!