La cucaracha is spanish for "the cucaracha". Did I spell that right?

Don't let your feet touch the floor! You don't want bugs in your shoes!

I wish you could see me right now. I'm sitting here in my office at First Baptist Anonymous with my feet alternately folded under me, propped on the edge of my trash can, or (the least comfortable of the three) just held suspended about four inches off the floor below my desk. Let me just tell you, there ain't a whole lot that freaks me out like a roach on the loose. Can't you just see them scuttling across the floor in their evil, darty manner, pausing with their antennae going crazy trying to find what part of your anatomy to crawl on first. You see, i'm not worried about roaches in corners, in cabinets, or in drawers (the wooden/metal ones, not underwear...ew). They can do whatever the heck they want to in there. I just don't want to see them and i SURE as heck don't want them on me. Anywhere. For any length of time. That would be my ultimate Fear Factor and one I'd surely chuck ten thousand bucks for: being submerged in a big ol' tank of cockroaches. Oh geez...I'm getting creeped out just thinking about it.
Hold on a minute....I've got to switch my foot position.
....
Okay. that's better. And no roaches on my person. Phew.
Oh yeah...I guess I'd better tell you why I'm behaving so strangely (because for once, there's an explanation) and why i've got roaches on the brain today. On my brain?!?!?? Where??? Where??? Get them off!!!! AAaaagh!
(breathe!)
Alright, well I was just sitting here, minding my own business (i love stories that start out that way), talking to the Pastor about churchly business when all of a sudden, the pastor spazzes out a bit and says "oh! that's the biggest roach i think I've ever seen here! he's headed your way!" to which i promptly responded by jerking my legs up and into my chair. And I think i might've said "Aaaaaa!" or something equally articulate. I saw a black spot dart across the floor under my desk as i pulled my legs up but as i swiveled back and forth to see where it went, i couldn't find it. it had already gone, which was bad. Why was it bad? because i didn't know where it was and when it would decide to pop out of wherever it was lurking to wave its little antennae at me. Uuuuuugh! I can just picture it now. I snatched my purse up off the floor as quickly as I could while still in my chair, whacking it intermittantly with my hand so as to knock off any dangling cockroaches. The pastor just casually stated that "occasionally, we have a cockroach problem but Terminix usually takes care of it." I guess it's because this church is so frappin old. Built in 1875. Somewhere in Great Britan, a monk is scoffing in amusement.
I was trying to think of anything interesting that might've happened to me over memorial day weekend in an effort to change the subject but, though I think i had a WONDERFUL weekend, sadly, I doubt many people would think it very exciting. Including Jeffrey ;^) Hopefully not though, since I spent at least a part of every day since thursday with him. I just had lots and lots of down time around the house, got to go up and see the house Jeffrey's staying in in Yankeeville this summer, ate some AMAZING food at Bahama Breeze with him and the folks (a hideously obscene amount of food, but oh my goodness. You people gotta get you some Bahama Breeze. Anything on the menu.), and watched a movie or two. Madagascar. Cute, but go see Star Wars instead if you haven't seen it. Which I haven't. But wish I had. It is NOT "this summer's Shrek". Sorry to disappoint you. The giraffe was mildly amusing.
I also got to sing to my heart's content at Coats Baptist for their new contemporary service on sunday morning and even got to play some guitar at practice. It's good to feel the calluses coming back on the fingers.
Well, I'm pretty sure there's something useful I could be doing at work right now so I'm going to go. In the meantime, avoid cockroaches and watch some PBS. That's good television.

Is anybody else feeling itchy?

Ode to Valerie

Hello again.
I know...the mind reels at the good fortune of another post being...uh....posted so quickly after the previous one but what can i say? I'm feeling benevolent.
Listen to a story about a man named Jed. Or better still, about my best friend in the world, Valerie McLean.
Now Val has been my best (no, not "bestest" because that word, quite frankly, pisses me off) friend for the past twenty...going on twenty one years and I have yet to say a whole heck of a lot about her--a fact that apparently annoys her, according to her response to my last blog post. And yes, she's put up with me that long. Ha. Ha. Val is quite possibly the smartest person I know and she knows exactly what she wants and goes after it, with a ferocity that often scares me. i know better than to tick her off because, though it doesn't happen all that often, it's a scary spectacle to behold, mostly cause she's six foot tall (that right, val?), and she's loud. Only when she's mad(the loud part not the tall part). She and I met in preschool and, i assume largly because of our unpopularity and general dorkiness, we bonded immediately and stuck that way (much like if you make a face for too long, it'll stick like that). She lives in G'vegas (aka.Greenville, NC) where she and I went to college together and so now i can use visiting her as an excuse to go back and relive the "glory days" at ECU, while trying to forget the much less popular "psycho days". Right now she probably thinks I've written quite enough about her and she's kicking herself for having written any kind of response to my last blog post at all but let me just say, in wrapping this up, that Valerie, though tall and sometimes scary, is not at all hairy and lately (to my knowledge), she hasn't dated any guys in the military. Nobody but Val will get that and for this, I apologize. For all of these reasons and many more (homegirl can make some sweet tea!), I love Valerie. There, Val, I said it. Are ya happy? Any cute, Christian, funny, fearless guys out there who want her phone number can feel free to drop me a line.
Okay...what else can i talk about? Well...I could fill everybody in a bit more about my Philadelphia trip outside "The U2 Experience", as its come to be known. Jeffrey and I left home and hit I-95 about a quarter to ten that friday morning (the result of intending to leave at nine o'clock). I, having always had a hankerin' for a "Virginia is For Lovers" t-shirt wanted to stop at the Virginia Welcome Center at the state's border and so we did, though Jeffrey was mostly humoring me. I didn't get my t-shirt because apparently you can only buy them online (and even then, they're the hoity-toity colared polo version or yuppie tourist version) so we left instead with a fist full of brochures on williamsburg, etc. and a "Virginia is For Lovers" sticker. I was happy. Moving right along, which we did just fine until we got within a fifty mile radius of Washington DC, we stopped only for lunch and then crawled the rest of the way from Washington DC to Baltimore, to Wilmington, Delaware. Jeffrey and I kept each other entertained, alternating between picking on each other to annoyance or playing the Alphabet Game (where you find each letter of the alphabet in order on signs near the road. And the letter has to be the first letter of a word or it doesn't count.) My butt hurt. I insisted on driving. Yankees can't drive. My nerves started to wear thin.
Thankfully, about the time that I was verging on nuts, we got to Christina's apartment, thanks to Jeffrey's awesome navigating skills. Christina, whom I hadn't seen in at least two or three years, welcomed us in and proceeded to cook us spaghetti, complete with salad and garlic bread. Her boyfriend Albert (who quickly became one of my favorite people) arrived shortly after dinner but i missed out on most of his visit as I fell asleep on Jeffrey on the couch. Deep asleep. I slept on an air mattress on the living room floor that night...very comfortable until i woke up about an hour and a half later, still on the mattress, but also flat on the floor. I apparently deflated it.
Well...highlights of the next day: Jeffrey and I followed Christina and Albert (who was driving like a true native) into the city to Albert's office building where we parked for the day. As Christina instructed me and i quickly learned, "Speed limits don't mean anything. Go with the flow of traffic, go through yellow lights, and cut people off because they sure as heck won't let you in, signal or no signal." Fun stuff. Our day in the city was great. The city is beautiful and we walked all over the place from Independence Hall to the site of where Ben Franklin's house once stood, to Betsy Ross's house. It took a bit to find that one, but once we did, we got to chat and have our pictures taken with a friendly "colonial dude" who mistook Jeffrey for a Tory because of his (Admiral)Abercrombie shirt. The weather was beautiful, the flowers were blooming, people covered the parks, and the river was dotted with boats full of rowing teams.
After our first cheesesteak in actual Philly (mostly like cooked ground beef with melted cheese in a bun...you had the option, which i didn't take, of marinara sauce), we picked up my car and headed our seperate ways. Christina even called after the concert to check on us and make sure we could remember how to get back to her apartment. Another reason why Christina's awesome.
Well, this will be an abrupt ending but i've written enough for this post so i'm gonna quit it, but suffice it to say, it was a great trip and we were extremely tired after driving all day the next day. I'd go back again in a heartbeat.
I'm tired and so are you. Peace out.

How Can Pickles Smell So Bad But Taste Soooo Good?

Hello out there in Bloggerville!
Yes, i'm still alive and functioning as a member of society...and despite the verbal floggings and virtual e-floggings i have received as a result of not having posted in "nae on" fifteen years. I'll do better, sir, I promise.
Where to start, where to....oh yeah!
I SAW U2 IN CONCERT!!!!! And I didn't pee my pants, much to my own as well as Jeffrey's great surprise. But let me just tell you, it was everything I hoped it would be...........and more. oh so much more. Yes, my seats were front-row second tier in a very large indoor arena, but with the view being unobstructed by obnoxious, underage, often hygiene-deficient "pseudo fans" (no one who's under the age of 18 can really be a U2 fan, can they?), and with the use of Dad's awesome binoculars, I could all but see every drop of sweat on The Edge's face. Bono obliged the crowd repeatedly by coming out onto the "elipse" (what i referred to as the catwalk) to run, skip, jump, crawl, and otherwise shake his booty in an impressive display of 44-year-old energy the likes of which you're not likely to find anywhere else. Actually, every member of the band was out on the elipse at one point or another, separately or together...even Adam came out to play a tom there during "Love and Peace or Else". Needless to say, I wish I'd been one of the lucky fans that strained over each other on the floor in an attempt to be sweated on by any or all members of the band. Hmm...doesn't quite sound so "cool" all typed out like that. Anyway. I actually witnessed one girl near the edge of the elipse who pulled off her shirt and proceeded to wave it in a circle around her head as the concert progressed. Quite sad and more than a tiny bit disturbing. May I just say (to make myself feel better and release some of this pent-up jealous resentment) that, much to my annoyance, most of the fans that I saw down on the floor looked like highschool kids. Highschool kids. Agh. Anyway again.
U2 played a lot of their new songs but several of the oldies as well including "Where the Streets Have No Name" and "Pride (In the Name of Love)". Needless to say, i was hoarse after the concert but i couldn't tell because my ears were ringing too much to hear what i sounded like very well. Certain sign of a great concert. So yes, they were awesome,they were AMAZING, they are, hands-down, the best rock band on this planet and I can't wait until december when I get to see them FROM THE FLOOR with my favorite brother in the world, Nathan. There's your plug for this entry Nathan. Oh yeah, and read his blog.
As for the rest of my life at the moment, there's lots to tell, the details of which i promise will follow in subsequent blog posts. and they will keep coming, don't worry. yeah, yeah...talk is cheap.just watch and see! A brief overview in the meantime (I'm at work and can't write too much detail right now 'cause i'm a good employee):
That's right, you read correctly: I have a job. A real one. I'm now the official Secretary of a certain baptist church in a certain college town where a certain university is located that has a certain "fighting camel" as its mascot. You figure it out. I'm trying to protect the church so you don't bombard them with heinous rumors about my character. As if you would do such a thing, right? Anyway, so yeah, i'm meeting all kinds of nice people and learning the ropes around here. It's always so awkward to answer the phone at a new job because, let's be honest, you don't know jack about who needs to talk to who about what and how to answer Mr.X's question. It gets better with time, of course, but right now its tough noogies and i've got a tender scalp.
Oh, i forgot to mention where Jeffrey and I actually went to see U2 which would've been an awesome trip in itself...and again,more details on this topic later. We went to Philadelphia!! I don't care what people say--Philly is beautiful and I'd go back there any day of the week! They're just scared because they've watched the opening sequence of The Fresh Prince and are scared that some big black guys are going to grab them on the b-ball court and shove/spin them back and fourth between each other until they're sufficiently dizzy. I know, it's scary, but i only saw one instance of this while in the city and even that was questionable as I was at least a hundred yards away and i'm pretty sure the kid just lost his lunch money. I stayed with my lovely and hilarious friend Christina, with whom I graduated from South Johnston Highschool in...ahem. No, wait, i'm not that old. It was 1998. She and her boyfriend Albert (not Alfred) were awesome tourguides and the Liberty Bell was everything I hoped it would be. Not so much with the cheesesteaks. Sorry...i'm still an Andy's fan.
Well...I've reached a point where I'm afraid if the phone rings again i'm going to lose my train of thought and possibly even ramble a bit so i'll end here. I'll write again. SOON. I PROMISE!

When in concert, don't pull anyone up on stage with you from the audience or you'll have one deliriously happy person and 9,999 angry fans.